Archive for the Misc. Category

Cinco De Mayo

Posted in Current Events, Misc., Race on May 5, 2009 by Lupa

Today is Cinco De Mayo, a holiday commemorating the unlikely victory of a Mexican army over a much better equipped and larger French army during the Battle of Puebla, an army which had not lost a battle in 50 years.

This holiday commemorates a real “300”, the movie in which a small Spartan army similarly defeated a large Persian army.  300 is based on real events, as in the battle, but other than that the movie is a piece of racist fluff.

In 300, the Spartan army is portrayed as brave, valiant and noble;  fathers and sons going into battle without fear.  While Leonidas is bravely fighting the Persians, his wife is at home getting raped and trying to keep Sparta together.  They are all extremely muscular, and pretty well groomed.

How are the Persians portrayed?  As eccentric, barbaric and perverse.  In the Persian lair there is monsters and homosexuality, all headed by an egomaniac and quasi homosexual leader.  Who would you rather be, the humble, brave and masculine Leonidas?  Or the androgynous, morally suspect and flaky King Xerxes.

300 is a fictional retelling of the Battle of Thermopylae, which happened about 400 years before Christ.  As accurate as a story that old can be, it has many parallels to the Battle of Puebla, except the Battle of Puebla took place about 150 years ago when we actually got that historical record thing down pat.

What if the Battle of Puebla was made into a film?  I think that would be awesome, however we would never see it portrayed in such a way as 300 was done.

Picture this:  The Mexican army is a strong, family oriented unit.  They work hard at home, and are eager to defend Mexico at all costs.  Their wives are dutifully loyal to their husbands at war and strong women who raise the children all alone.  The Mexican warriors look like they are roided up, and all of their mustaches are painstakingly trimmed.

They are called to battle by a fat, hairy and smelly French army.  The French army obsesses over cigarettes and weird, freaky sex; in fact most of them don’t even know if they are gay or straight, if it’s a hole in the ground they will fuck it.  The French army has come to invade Mexico over an unpaid debt and claim the land of the sun for themselves, chainsmoking and wheezing the entire time.

That movie would never get made, but how is that different than what happenned in 300.  Let me give you another example of a racist movie.

When I was a kid, I loved the Three Amigos, and it’s a funny movie.  Unfortunately there are some offensive things in that movie.  For one, the Mexicans only drink Tequila and they all have yellow teeth, even their leader the powerful and rich El Guapo.  They all always look disheveled (except the women).

All the white people in the movie are depicted as clean and with nice clothes.  The Three Amigos, the Frenchmen, the studio people.

The worst scene is at the end, when Martin Short’s character is attempting to pump up the Mexicans into defeating El Guapo’s gang.  He says they have to use something they are good at in defeating El Guapo, and he asks what they are good at.  The all look at each other in bewilderment, with a look on their face that says, “we are stupid Mexicans, we are not good at anything.”  Then one of the has an idea.  What is used to defeat El Guapo?  Their sewing skills.  Yes their biggest collective talent was sewing.

Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom is another racist movie and if you’ve seen it, think real hard and if you need help let me know.

On Cinco De Mayo, which is not Mexico’s independence day (which happens in Sept.), we should take time to look at issues all immigrants face around us.  The federal DREAM (Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors) Act has was introduced into Congress on March 26 by Dick Durbin (D-IL), Richard Lugar (R-IN), Harry Reid (D-NV), Mel Martinez (R-FL), Patrick J. Leahy (D-VT), Joseph Lieberman (I-CT), Edward M. Kennedy (D-MA), and Russel D. Feingold (D-WI), clearly a bi partisan effort of which we do not see in Washington normally.  I encourage everyone to look into the issue of tuition equity for undocumented students and how immigration reform is the new civil rights struggle of our generation.

From The Archives

Posted in From The Archives, Misc. on May 2, 2009 by Lupa

Friday, December 17, 2004  “AL To Be Named My Space Playboy Of The Year” Current mood: Sarcastic

Bumblefuck, California (A.P.) – In what was seen as more predictable than this morning’s sunrise, AL has been voted’s “Playboy Of The Year.” The award is given to only those individuals who best personify the “don’t love hoes” and “bro’s before hoes” attitudes. A recent example of this occurred earlier this month when AL was in a bar and a drunken ugly slut asked him if he had weed. The response: “yes I do, but not for you, BIATCH.” Five minutes later the same question was posed to him by one of the ugly drunken slut’s hot friends. This time the response was, “take a pull off the fattie between my legs, BIATCH!” Within minutes, the hot slut was wiping her lips off and no weed had been smoked. The award was presented to him at a modest ceremony in Tom’s shitty studio apartment. Tom could be heard begging AL to let them hang out together, at one point stating, “For God sake, I’m almost 30 and I’m a virgin.” Even though Tom did the best he could to conceal the squalor he was living in, crack vials and porno mags with pages stuck together could be visible to Stevie Wonder. AL made a short speech in which he denounced promiscuous, money hungry shrews, while promoting the “don’t hate player, hate the game mantra.” “The power of these wanton hoes is at an all time high,” he said. “It is up to the hardworking, bill paying man to let himself out of his blindness and not let a nice body or fake tits compell you to spend money you don’t have.” In describing a test he devised to figure out if your woman is a high maintenence, dollar chaser he said, “Basically, if she’ll eat at White Castle, she’s a keeper. Either that or she’s in ho stealth mode.” The conecpt of a ho acting covertly was mind boggling to the crowd and thunderous applause was lavished on the man of the night. The evening ended with AL proving that it is possible to smoke an oz. of weed in nine minutes. Then he proceeded to drive cross country back to new york with no sleep, in a car that some ho just realized was missing.

Tuition Equity

Posted in Current Events, Misc., Race on May 1, 2009 by Lupa


Tuition Equity

          The issue of tuition equity for undocumented students encompasses a broader range of issues that relate to all undocumented residents regardless of age.  In different sectors of life, undocumented residents face restrictionism, the current day manifestation of the fears generated during the Americanization era.  Undocumented residents face limitations on obtaining driver’s licenses and renting apartments, basic essentials to any life.  Additionally, there have been movements to outlaw bilingual education as well as bilingualism in the workforce.  One can trace these attempts to modern day nativism, the fear of immigrants and foreign cultures.  As education is critical in the advancement of society and arguably the most important function of government, one can say that denying all peoples an equitable chance at education is the most egregious consequence of nativism.

The Supreme Court case Plyler V. Doe was the major breakthrough guaranteeing an equal opportunity of primary and secondary education for all students regardless of legal status (Yates).  Decided on June 15, 1982, Justice Brennan voiced in the majority opinion that denying education to the undocumented students was a violation of the Equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment (Yates).  It was concluded that because a state’s jurisdiction includes all residents, all people within the state are granted  “at least the minimal safeguards” of the 14th Amendment, regardless of legal status. (Yates).

As Plyler was a Supreme Court case it set a national precedent, however this did not prevent individual states from attempting circumvent it.  Among other things such as denying basic services, rights, benefits and even the right to simply attend a California public college or university, proposition 187 in California (1994) attempted to deny undocumented children their public education, a matter which ostensibly had been settled with the Plyer case 12 years earlier (Yates).  Proposition 187 was determined to be federally unconstitutional, however certain aspects of its intent were realized with subsequent federal legislation (Yates).

With PRWORA Congress established a national policy of restricting availability of public benefits to undocumented residents, including the right to post secondary education (Yates).  Shortly thereafter, Congress passed the IIRIRA.  While the PRWORA was a broad law, the IIRIRA was a narrow law attempting to restrict any undocumented immigrant’s right to post secondary education (Yates).  In essence it stated that regardless of any other circumstance, such as graduating from a high school in the state, a public college cannot allow undocumented students to receive in state tuition unless that same school was to allow legal non-resident students the same rate (Yates).

Plyer was in place to allow a basic education to all peoples however with the passing of the IIRIRA the government greatly limited an undocumented student’s ability to receive a post secondary degree.  The IIRIRA also took away power from the states with issuing a broad federal guideline dictating policies which some could say is clearly a state’s rights issue.  Given the rise of nativism within the past 25 years due to war and increased immigration, it is not surprising such a wide reaching initiative was passed.  The federal DREAM Act proposal hopes to set a new precedent on providing tuition based equity while also providing a pathway to citizenship.

The debate over tuition based equity has many facets to it which encompass different reasoning’s.  The interesting thing is that every reason a proponent might have to support tuition equity a detractor can use the same topic to rebut it.  In objectivity, this debate is not a clear cut one and is hugely influenced by perspective.

Among the most commonly used themes to argue for and against tuition equity are legal and economic, which are for very straight forward reasons.  Without law, there is chaos and as such some feel that legal reasons triumph over all other reasons.  Economics is a huge factor because a fact of life is that money is a central to a person or entity’s success; a lack of fiscal responsibility will be detrimental to anyone.

Those making the case against tuition equity on the basis of legality claim that the U.S. is a nation of laws, and the fact remains an undocumented resident is an “illegal” resident.  That individual might say why reward someone for breaking the law, would that not only further encourage others from entering the country illegally?  Sen. Bill Cadman of Colorado Springs said that granting students who are illegal immigrants in state tuition was like saying, “if their parents robbed a bank, their kids could keep the money.”  One would be hard pressed to find other instances in which individuals who gained something unlawfully continued to receive benefits of that unlawful act.

Additionally, Sen. Ted Harvey stated, “By rewarding those who come here illegally with government services, we will only beget more illegal behavior in the future.”

Proponents of tuition equity also use the legal reason.  Their view is that, if we are a nation of laws and one which promotes justice for all, why are we punishing the innocent?  If a person entered the country illegally and brought their children with them, is it the child’s fault he is undocumented?  The child did not have a say and as such one can argue it is an unreasonable consequence he affected for his parent’s actions.  If one hold’s a society to the truest letters of their laws, than how can that society justify punishing one person for the behavior of another?

Those against tuition equity also argue with the other hot button topic: economics.  In fact, many times the legal and economic arguments work hand in hand.  They say the bottom line is, all of this will cost money, and with today’s volatile economic times should we not be more prudent in allocating resources for legal citizens?

  1. Regardless, one might say that our society is only as strong as our weakest links, and promoting a college education for all is in our nation’s economic best interests.
  2. When you do not give people hope, they do hopeless things.”

Detractors also use this reasoning however counter them in different ways.  They say that this equity should only exist for legal residents and how are they being denied rights, when they do not have a “right”, albeit a legal one at the moment, for them anyway?  They might say that, speaking of morality, what is moral about assisting individuals who our state defines as criminals?

Ironically the argument which is used the least is arguments pertaining to education.  Proponents state that pluralism on our campuses is enriching to all segments of the student body.  If classes are comprised with more diversity more rewarding debate can ensue.  Those who study pedagogy might say that the inclusion of as many different peoples from different backgrounds can only enhance the educational experience.  Detractors say that allowing undocumented students will drag down the experience for the rest of the students.

I feel that the different pros and cons need to be analyzed and dissected differently.  One can make great arguments for and against using the legal argument, however the legal argument benefits the detractors of tuition equity due to the fact that laws exist in their favor already; the burden of proof is not on them so to speak.  At the same time, our history is rife with examples of laws that did not make sense or were not just, going back to slavery, voting rights and segregation.  It is harder for a proponent to utilize the legal argument, however not impossible.

The economic reasons for and against tuition equity are the most interesting.  Here I feel both sides can use this argument somewhat equally however a detractor can use it more easily, while a proponent can use it more effectively.  To someone who is not versed on this issue, a detractor can point out that offering lower tuition to more students will decrease revenue, and might end up costing the tax payer money.  To this unknowledgeable person, this alone might be enough for them to think it is not a good idea.  The proponent however can point out that these costs are negligibly, and in reality the long term economic benefits outweigh any perceived short term negative consequences.  It would be very quick and easy for the detractor to say, “This is going to cost money, do you want to spend money?”  The proponent really has more ammo with this logic, however it is not as easy to express.

Easily the social, moral and democratic aspects of the debate are much harder for detractors to purvey and as such they do not normally utilize these strategies.  It’s hard for one to say, “We would like to deny innocent students an education”, whereas it is much easier to discuss logistics such as legalities and economic aspects.  Proponents of tuition equity have this as a readily available asset at any time, however how effective this technique is questionable.  With the economic climate we have, one might believe this indeed is a moral issue, however there is a “we can’t save them all mentality.”

The media is said to be a liberal group and one can speculate on the reasons.  Perhaps it is because those in the media are constantly dealing with current events that they are able to see issues more progressively.  Regardless of one’s personal politics, most people agree there are times to be conservative and times to be liberal.  Tina Griego of the Denver Post was able to make some interesting observations on this debate.  In Giego’s, “Illegal or Not, These Students Are Home Here” she was able to break this matter down to one of practicality.  There is idealism on both sides, however the fact is that these students are here and they are not going anywhere.  The United States is their home.  With that said, let us do what we can to address the issues that are facing those who are here.

Mike Littwin of the Denver Post also did a great job making this a practical issue.  In his “Dems Flunk Courage Test By Betraying Tuition Bill” he states that you’ve got kids who were forced to come here, have no other place to go, did great in school in spite of this and want to go to college, so why not make that goal more feasible for them?  He also did a great job of pointing out that while the Governor supports tuition equity legislation, he is not exactly emphatic about constantly letting people know about it.

I feel the federal Dream Act is something that will benefit the U.S. as a whole, and the positives outweigh the negatives.  The Plyler case established that education is crucial, so much so that it protected by the 14th Amendment.  In that era, a high school education was entirely more valuable than it is today.  With more and more people going to college, and the job market as competitive as ever, a post secondary education is critical to an individual’s positive standard of living, thus using the same rationale of providing the tools for a better life which was discussed in the Plyler case.

In the past with segregated schooling, our government took action where it was necessary to provide a more equitable schooling for all.  In many ways this cycle is repeating itself.  This is about equity and with that equity comes benefit for all not just those directly assisted.  Just like the detractors of desegregated schools, many of the arguments against it stem for nativism and racism.

I think the legal argument against tuition equity is very valid.  It is much like the drug war, many are against it and feels the law need to be changed, however until the laws are changed nothing can be done.  It is then the job of lawmakers and concerned citizens to make light that what is in place serves more a detriment than a benefit to society at large.

The economic argument I feel people take according to their predispositions on government spending in general.  To me it seems that the out of pocket cost to tax payers is virtually nonexistent, and with all the money that the U.S. spends on defense and NASA, why cannot this be a reality?

  1. If you see someone on fire, you throw some water on them, you don’t tell them about fire safety.

As this is my first semester in college and it has been almost 10 years since I was in high school, I do not have much prior learning on this topic or many of the topics we have covered in class.  They are things I have always thought about, and certain thoughts I have had have been confirmed through the class, yet others that were new ideas and contrasted what I had previously though.  With regards to tuition equity and primary and secondary education for undocumented students, those are things I had never thought about, I suppose because they did not affect me.  I have found when I discuss these issues with others, they have similar concepts to mine, but the class really enlightened me to different sides of it.  For example, when I told my stepfather about the tuition equity debate he asked me if I thought it would be fair if I payed out of state tuition while an illegal resident pays in state.  Then I let him know it’s not so clear cut, I chose to leave my home state while these are kids that had no choice to come to the U.S., it’s not fair to punish them and he agreed.

It’s interesting how other topics in the U.S. get way more press than the tuition equity debate.  Every time something happens with the gay marriage debate it is all over the news.  That is also a human rights issue, but by not being able to marry gays are not being deprived of any substantial thing that can better their lives.  They can still have relationships, go to college, and get jobs.  The issue needs to be out there more, because there are lives being affected and held down by this every day.  One of the most ironic things I thought about is that there are people against tuition equity and immigration, yet at least as it pertains to Mexicans, the undocumented are only coming back to what used to be Mexico in the first place and there are constant reminders of that fact everywhere.

Why Do We Do Certain Things?

Posted in Misc. on April 15, 2009 by Lupa

Everyone has done at least one of these things.

You are waiting for the elevator and it’s not coming fast enough so you repeatedly push the button.  That’s not going to make it come any faster.

Don’t you hate when you get a shit attack – right after you get out of the shower?

You know you are going to get a refund from your taxes, but you wait to do them until April 15th anyway.

How about those times when you want to sleep in but have to use the bathroom, and you decide you would rather stay in bed with the urge to go than to get up?

Why do we use alcohol to give ourselves the courage to do something that we know we’ll only have to continue when we are sober?

You ever call someones house and ask them where they are?

We buy books we want to read, but know we will never finish.  We think we have the capacity to do it, but we know we don’t.

To be continues…. I think that’s gonna be my new thing…

Bums Vs. The Homeless

Posted in Misc. on April 12, 2009 by Lupa

When I was taking a cab home the other night I commented we were driving through a part of town that used to not have any bums, and now you see them.  The cab driver said some thing about more homeless being around, as if to say I don’t call homeless people “bums”.

There is a difference between bums and the homeless.  Not all bums are actually homeless.  Lots of people on the street have places to live, they just don’t want to work, that’s why they are bums.  On the other hand, not all homeless people are bums.  

There are bad circumstances that could force many people to be homeless, but there are no circumstances that could ever force me to be a bum.  I don’t have any sympathy for bums.  If you don’t do shit all day, you shouldn’t have any shit, that sounds fair to me.  I’m not sure why people equate being homeless with being a bum and vice versa.  Someone in a bad spot that finds themselves homeless is gonna try to do what they can to get back where they were, whereas a bum, whether he/she has a home or not is content in the pathetic life they lead.

Sometimes I give money to bums, sometimes I don’t.   I wish there were a magic way for me to know which bums are worthy of some help and which are just, bums.  A lot of it depends on how they approach me.  There are some angry, insolent bums that demand not change, but a dollar or more.  Why would I help someone out like that?  The ones that simply ask you and not make a big deal out of it are the ones I’ll help.  I’ll also pretty much always give a bum money if they are playing an instrument, no matter how badly.  If the bum is very old, I’ll always give them money and in fact I don’t even really look at them as bums because either they have no family or someone is failing them, either way I don’t expect them to work.  Same thing if they are disabled.

Then there are bums that are true bums in the sense of the word;  people from decent backgrounds, who have families to go to and are just squatting, bullshitting, whatever.  One time someone I know saw someone sitting outside a Starbucks with a coffee in their hand and a cigarette asking for money.  No, not a bum bum , but a freakin young bearded hippie bum type guy.  I will NEVER give money to those kinds of bums.  You can tell when the bums are like that.

What is very obvious is by and large the vast majority of bums are American, i.e. black or white.  How often do you see Latino, Asian, Middle Eastern non American bums?   You just don’t see that shit very often.  As a non American I can say that Americans are bred to be lazy and expect shit to come to them.  It’s a paradox because Americans are also very hard working, but it seems either you are a back breaking American and you are a lazy as fuck American.  For some reason Mexicans have a stereotype of being lazy, regardless of the fact that Mexican do the most manual labor as a percentage of their population in this country.  Mexicans have jobs black and white Americans would never fuckin touch for a second.

To be continued….

From The Archives

Posted in From The Archives, Misc. on April 9, 2009 by Lupa

Sunday, May 01, 2005 (a very mathematically conducive year)

Why Are Some People So Depressed?

I constantly think about this. America has such an elite standard of living, yet everyone is pissed off. Guys get themselves down because they can’t fuck some fantasy video girl, women get beat themselves up because they can’t find the guy that doesn’t obssess over fucking the fantasy video girl. I have a realatively modest standard of living, yet I can honestly I’m happy. I get pissed a lot, but I’m happy. Maybe this is because I’ve eaten a lot of shit in my life. I have noticed that people who have been through shit tend to have a better perspective on life that those who’ve been coddled. I used to have a friend who was a blue blooded WASP from old Conneticut money. He was the most depressed person I ever met. He literally had a weekly pill jar, a la a typical elderly person in a home. Monday Xanax, Tuesday Lithium… We really felt bad for him. Why is there so much emphasis put on trivial things to make us happy? I’m sure there is someone out there ready to slit their wrists because they don’t have an Ipod and all their friends do. (In all fairness to that particular example, my life changed immeasurably after I got my Ipod.) You ever wished that when you met a person, you could run some sort of diagnostic test on them to see what’s fucked up about them? Sometimes I think people don’t really want to be happy. If they were happy, there would be no ambition in their life; the boat’s already sailed. Maybe people subconsciously purposely create disarray in their life, for the purpose of keeping the purpose in their life. I think that sounds about right….


Posted in Misc., NY/NJ, Porn on March 30, 2009 by Lupa

I don’t know how this discussion on comparing working in porn to other professions got started.  I’ve never worked in porn so I can only speculate as to the degree of difficulty of working in the business.  All I can do is compare my ideas of it, which while you think I am not being objective, I am, and if you want I can explain my viewpoint.  Rather than explain my idea of something I have no first hand knowledge of, however in all fairness it is not something too hard to imagine, I’m gonna give you a comprehensive and detailed look at my personal work history.  I have no desire to work in porn whatsoever, however that being said, I would take working in porn over any other job I have ever had.

I’m a young buck (26), but I have been putting work in since I was like 10, going to everyone in my neighborhood, cutting their grass, raking their leaves, shoveling their snow, doing whatever to get paid.  I did that until I was able to work legally when I was 16.  In 1996 when I was 13 the east coast had a huge blizzard, which many of you who were there will remember.  I had off of school an entire week.  All I did was shovel that shit out of people’s driveways all over.  We’re talking over 1-2 feet of snow, I don’t remember, but someone back me up on this, it was a massive amount of snow.  That shit was backbreaking work.

When I was about 12 I took a class to become a soccer referee for 6 year old kids.  Sure refereeing children’s soccer doesn’t sound that bad, until you factor in all the apeshit parents who went bananas on you if they thought you got the call wrong.  Sometimes it was insane, motherfuckers going on the field like what the fuck is wrong with you?  Grown ass men yelling at a 12 year old kid.  I didn’t care; I hit them off with yellow cards and told their ass if they fucked with me again I’ll hit them off with the red.

When I was 16 I got my first real, real job, working at a movie theater and I got paid minimum wage.  You know what it feels like when someone pays that?  It’s them saying, we would pay you less, but it’s illegal.  I would go to school until 2:30 and then work from 3-11 3 days during the week and put in full days on Saturday and Sunday.  It fucking blowed, I worked everywhere, in this cafe they had, at concession, as an usher and at the box office.  Mainly I would just smoke weed behind the dumpster on my 15 minute breaks and then eat all the food.  We also had a couple of great scams.  One was where if people had exact change I would ring it up as a no sale and just pocket that shit.  Then in the box office we would steal the gift certificates and redeem them for cash.  That was a great one I’d do like $100 in a day on those.  I also got to see movies for free, so I saw every movie that came out in 1999, ones that are considered classics now like Office Space and The Big Lebowski.  During the week at night no one would be in the late shows and we would be getting high and drinking in those shits.  To this day whenever I go to a movie theater I have flashbacks of working there and that was ten years ago.  Last thing on that, if you go to a matinee show in the morning, you are eating recycled popcorn from the day before.

This started a streak of me leaving jobs because I found better jobs.  At the end of 99 I quit the movie theater to work at Barnes & Noble.  That fuckin sucked too.  The shittiest job was working the information, here’s something that was pretty typical:

“Can you help me find this book?  It’s like this thick, it was written by this guy who writes a lot of sports and I think the cover is red.”

For some reason they thought we were familiar with every book that was ever printed.  At least at the movie theater I was cool with a lot of people, but some of the other employees at Barnes & Noble were gay as hell.  There was this one guy Jack from Brooklyn, who was always telling bullshit stories.  He was like, “When I was walking home in Brooklyn, I bumped into Keifer Sutherland as he was walking out of a crack house.  He had a car waiting outside.  He said, ‘you didn’t see me.'”

Another time he said he smoked weed with Method Man and Redman after bumping into them, where, Brooklyn of course.  Bullshit for days.  I would just get high on my breaks and eat all the Godiva chocolates.  The ones with that fruit shit are bangin.  One time I was hot boxing in my friend’s car before work and I forgot I had to work the register.  I had to go in the money room in the back and count my till out, which was a small room with no ventilation.  This was the winter time too, and you know how the cold makes the smell of smoke stay on you.  Anyway, I filled the room up with the pungent smell of herb and my friend mouths to me, “YOU FUCKIN REEK OF WEED!”  I have no idea why I was not fired on the spot and why my manager, who didn’t particularly like me, didn’t ever say anything.  It probably was because every job I’ve had I have either been the single best, or among the best employees.

Listen, I wouldn’t run scams at any job anymore because I know now it is fucked up, but I was 16, 17 years old.  I had this great scam with my friend who was the manager of the music department.  All I had to do was print out a copy of all the receipts of everyone who paid in cash.  He would then take those receipts, find those things that were still in the store make like it was being returned.  We used all that cash to buy the finest weed money can buy, and split the weed.  The store had to hire detectives to find out about it.  There was a guy staying in the store all day watching people, but they said they couldn’t tell us why.  Then at lunch he was in our break room eating, and someone was like yeah he’s a cop.  My manager actually got busted for that shit and the cops took him away at the store, but somehow it was determined they used entrapment and he walked away scot free, minus the job of course.

My dumbass brother was the worst.  I fuckin got him a job and he pulled his shit recklessly.  All he would do is stuff all the shit he wanted to steal into garbage bags and take them outside and pretend they were trash.  The alarms would beep, but it was normal because sometimes we open the shit for them, and the alarm things go in the trash so it was always going off when someone took out the trash.  Later he would just go to the dumpster where he put the shit in the back and that was that.  Only thing is one day he decided to return a lot that shit for store credit at another Barnes & Noble, like $300 worth of shit with no receipt.  The guy was like, when we looked this up, all these things come up as stolen in that other store, can you wait right here one sec.  Luckily the only smart thing he did was just leave right there and leave the shit there.

I quit Barnes and Noble because my mom moved to Miami, and the three months I was there I didn’t do shit but party every day.  I came back in Jan of 2001 to go to audio engineering school in Manhattan, when I finished that in Sept of 2001 (great timing right) I went to work as an intern at a well known rock studio in Hoboken, Water Music.  Talk about shitty work, and I wasn’t getting paid.  The manager Rob was a huge dick, my first day he says I need you to clean all the equipment in the studio with Q-Tips.  We’re talking a 96 channel Neve board, all the outboard gear, everything, with fucking Q-Tips.  So when he wasn’t slaving me with bullshit, I was riding my bike all over Hoboken getting them food, whatever the bands or they needed, making coffee, all the usual shit.  All you metal fans might find amusing that Billy Milano from S.O.D. lived at the studio.  When I met him he was mixing something and he asked me how it sounded and I was like it sounds all right.  He said, “do you know who I am” and I said, no.  He said, “You don’t know who I am?” and I was like no I don’t.  So he wanted to be buds after that because I didn’t know who he was, everyone else was on his dick.  That and the fact he was always asking me to get weed for him.  He’s a weird guy actually; he would ramble about himself, and talk about doing weird shit to bitches when he fucked them.  I quit that shit after like two months.

By this time I was living in Jersey City, in some shithole I was renting in Greenville.  It wasn’t a palace, but I had three bedrooms all to myself and a big ass kitchen.  I needed to make money real bad, so I took a job at a temp agency.  My job was to sit in on tapings of the “Judge Hatchett” show.  Can you believe they pay people for that?  Some of those cases were insane, pretty funny.  That was actually the easiest legit money I ever made in my life.  One time I was sitting in the front, which is visible on camera (I have the tape) and I fell asleep and the person next to me taps and off camera the producer is holding up a sign that says “WAKE UP”

I couldn’t afford to stay in Jersey City, that shit was paying me peanuts and this was summer of 2002, the whole 9/11 shit was still very real.  I went to almost every studio in Manhattan and tried to get paying engineering jobs and they were all like not now, and who knows if ever.  My mom had just moved out to Denver so I decided I would go out there, save cash, ride this 9/11 shit out and come back.

When I moved to Denver my brother (who lived in Denver since he went to college there in the late 90’s) got me a job working at a Panera Bread.  It wasn’t so bad, I was the consolidator, which meant I had to group the orders and call their names on the mic.  Sometimes I would bullshit on the mic and everyone would have a laugh.  Another good thing was that were a lot of Mexicans that worked there, so I felt at home.  Another good thing is that they hooked me up with their coke connect, LOL.  I got fired for this job because they didn’t pay me holiday pay for Labor Day because I was a new employee and I went off on the human resources lady on the phone.  Like went off, overboard.  Some shit I would never do now, but hey I was 19, you live and you learn.

After that I got a job working the graveyard shift at a Conoco gas station.  That was a real shitty job, and it was the longest job I ever held, which was like one and a half years.  Man, the freaks that would come in that shit in all hours of the night.  It was also a convenience store and there was all this tedious shit that had to be done at night.  For example I had to count every pack of cigarettes, every night, the shit sucked.  I also had to clean the whole store, the soda shit, the coffee shit, stock everything, clean the bathroom, mop, the whole nine.  One time someone left crack in the bathroom.  Another time this guy said he thought he left his pacemaker in the toilet; don’t ask me how I never figured that out.  Another time I left the back door open and this dude ran in the back and tried to steal a case of beer.  When I confronted him he just pushed me and I wanted to beat his ass but I was like this isn’t even my shit and I’ll get fired anyway.  The worst was when I was smoking weed in the back and I ashed in the garbage and then had to come back in to help people.  The garbage went on fire and the whole store was filled with smoke, even going outside.  The only positive thing was that there were so many munchies I could take when I was high; it was like being a kid in candy store, no pun intended.

I fuckin got fired from that shit too, it was real fucked up.  When I was leaving one morning I slipped on ice on the property and sprained my back and my lumbar.  When they took me to the doctor they wanted me to take a drug test.  I was like fuck that, and they are like you can’t get the treatment or some shit without taking the drug test.   I held out for hours, but I was just like fuck it, I’m gonna come up dirty whenever I take it.  Sure enough that shit came back dirty and they fired me.  I still got my free physical therapy and they had to pay for my cabs, most of the time it was a nice ass Lincoln Towncar, it was sweet.

After that shit I decided I saved up enough money it was time to come back home.  The rent in Denver was so inexpensive it wasn’t even funny.  This was the summer of 2004.  I found a room online in Harlem, 127th St and 5th Ave and it was supposed to be a 2 bedroom with a single female.  Turns out it was a 3 bedroom with her, her husband and these two French guys, I had no choice though, my shit was sitting on a corner in Harlem, and I had no other place to go.

I struggled to find work and it was reaching a precipice.  So I answered this ad to be a bathroom attendant, which is literally a “shitty” job.  Fuckin pumpin soap into people hands and handing them towels.  I went to some cool places though, different parties and events.  I would have people pay me to let them fuck in the bathroom, and if they wanted to do blow they had to hit me off.  I met John Legend before he was real big like that.  Funny story actually.  There was this fashion event that he was playing at, and I knew a guy was singing and playing piano.  However before and after that there was this crazy, crazy DJ playing so many songs I loved, old hip hop shit.  So John starts talking to me and I’m like what do you and he says I did the music.  I was like, oh shit you’re the DJ that shit was off the hook!  Then he says to me tersely, no I’m the singer.  Whoops.

Another time I worked this event where the first part was a speech by John Edwards, because he was running for VP at the time.  Security was like, if Mr. Edwards needs to use the bathroom, we’re going to ask you to leave.  After that event was the Rocksteady Crew’s 20th anniversary party and they had all this killer, killer breakdancing, it was tight.

Only thing about the job was that we didn’t make a wage just the tips, which was illegal and we even actually paid them a “lease” fee from the tips for the space.  It was gangster ass shit all the way, a total shakedown.  Some of the good gigs it didn’t matter, you can make good money from that shit in Manhattan, but I went home a lot of days with like 15 bucks for a whole days work.  I knew it was bullshit, but I didn’t have another job or way to make any money.  Some days you had to show up to the office and be on call, it was complete bullshit.  I could wait like four hours and still not work, and not get paid shit.  The guy who ran it Leroy was a complete gangster, I mean the whole nine, his whole image, persona they way he dressed said gangster.

I got fed up and wrote them a letter saying I knew shit was bullshit and if they didn’t start paying me more I would snitch.  So Leroy shows up at my job like step outside.  First thing he does is grill me, just looking at me with his gangster ass stare.  The dude is like 60 and from Harlem, so you know he don’t play.  His face is mad serious, like he’s about to cut me up right there.  He’s says to me, you aren’t from New York are you?  I said no I grew up in Jersey.  He says, Jersey that makes a lot of sense, see you don’t understand they way things work here.  Let me tell you how it is, all the people that work for me are derelicts and junkies, no one else will employ them, and I am doing them a favor.  I was like, you know most of these people are really immigrants that you are exploiting them that shit is not cool, but that’s your business.  Pay me my shit and do what you want with them.  He’s like, I ain’t paying you shit and matter of fact you can get the fuck out of here right now.  I was like no problem.

After that I filed a complaint with the labor department, but I didn’t know there was already an ongoing probe by then state Attorney General Elliot Spitzer, his whole shit went down, it was the on the front cover of the NY Daily News and the NY Post.  They called it the Bathroom Slaves.

Luckily I found a new job, but unluckily I was getting kicked out of my apartment in Harlem.  Seems they needed to let the phone guy in my room and that shit was trashed.  They were like, you gotta go.  Funny, the guy helped me take my shit up when I moved in but just sat and watched while I carried all my shit downstairs when I moved out.

So my friend was like you remember that dude I used to work with, he has a room in the Bronx if you want to go see it.  I was like yeah sure why not, if my other shit falls through at least I’ll have a back up.  I ended up staying at the backup for four years.

The next job I got was crazy.  It was for a Teleservices company that a gigantic amount of people who live in the NY area have worked for at some point in their lives.  It was for doing polling for the 2004 election.  Another shitty job.  Non stop for 8-12 hours a day we would call people and ask them poll questions.  Other times all we had to do was read a paragraph about how great Kerry was and how much Bush sucked.  Yes if you got the call it was us, we worked mostly for the Democratic National Committee, though there was one time we did Pro Bush calls.  There was a contest to see who could do the most and as a result, a lot of our calls were very poor.  On top of that, the company is the shadiest, most ghetto big company I think in the U.S., no bullshit.  Being at work there was like being in the hood.  We would go on our breaks and smoke weed in the park, or I’d hit the liquor store for a bottle of Bacardi, hit the bodega for a Pepsi, dump half that shit out and drink it at my desk.

The biggest bullshit was when the people from the DNC actually came.  We had to wear a tie and knock the bullshit off.  They choose me among a group of people to listen to calls, they loved my ass.  They were the biggest suckers though, how they thought that was a professional environment is beyond me.  The worst was when we had to call people in Detroit about Proposal E, some local bullshit.  Imagine spending your whole day speaking to people from Detroit about some shit they don’t want to hear?

Funny thing is there is a chance we played a role in losing the election for Kerry.  With a week left, the DNC said we must focus everything on Ohio because if we get Ohio, we think we will win the whole thing.  So we called Ohio non stop for a week, thousands and thousands and thousands of calls.  Only thing is, we were so burned out by then, we were at our worst.  Not to mention the fact that everyone for the most part is ghetto and you know when you are speaking to someone ghetto on the phone and strangers don’t like that shit.  You got other guys like me high or drunk and other people talking fast like the Mirco Machines guy so they can win the contest (you know, if it’s not Micro Machines, it’s not the real thing.)  That shit will make an undecided by like, fuck this is this is what Kerry resorts to, having ghetto ass fucks call me and bullshit, I’ll vote for Bush. In any event, John Kerry lost Ohio, a state that if he had won would have given him the election.

After the election they said we could stay on with them, but it was to do different work.  We went from working in the West Village to working in Long Island City, which is in Queens.  This work was proxy solicitation.  For those that are unfamiliar, when you own a security such as a stock or a mutual fund, there are shareholder meetings held every year where they most vote on certain things they would like to do with the fund, i.e. board members, or changing some sort of function.  In lieu of going to the meeting and voting, every holder receives a proxy and they have one vote for every share they own.  Without a certain number of people voting, they can’t do shit and since most people don’t vote them, we have to call them and take their votes over the phones.  This is big in mergers because they can’t reorganize without shareholder approval.

The LIC location was even more hood than the Village one.  For one it was massive, and there they did the proxy work as well as mad telemarketing shit.  Everyone was fucking.  Anything you needed you could get.  Weed, whatever.  On the weekends a guy would set up bootleg DVD’s in the break room on a blanket, just like in the street.  It was surreal.  LIC is industrial so we could just walk around the block smoking weed.

After doing that for a little bit, they moved to the priority group which is only calling very, very large SH’s.  I would also do campaigns where only I and someone else would work on them, small ones, but important ones such as proxy fights.  After that I moved to inbound and took questions from the shareholders.  There was an opening in Quality Assurance and they gave that to me.

Now my job was just to review about 20-25 reps a day.  My friend says I got drunk with power because I started failing people left and right.  I went from being cool with everyone to like fuck AL, though it wasn’t that deep.  Sometimes my supervisors made calls and I failed their ass too.  What’s worse is that I had to play that shit for them.  I could give a fuck; I was by far the most thorough reviewer.  A lot of them didn’t even want to hear the call if I failed them because I was so thorough in detailing the call.

Other times I had to monitor them live, which was always funny.  I could type on their screen and they would see it and then I would hear them on the phone like what the fuck?

I got a better paying job doing stock transfer in Jersey so I quit that shit.  When I did stock transfer, I had to commute from the Bronx to Port Authority then get on a bus for a half hour.  The irony was not lost on me that I grew up in Jersey only to move to NY to go to Jersey to work.

Stock transfer is actually kind of crazy because the average person doesn’t realize all the shit involved.  It’s hard to explain, but there are official processes for transferring stock as gift, or if someone dies  Is it a trust, joint tenants, a corporation, power of attorney?  We issue out and replace dividend checks, we purchase and buy shares.  We reissue certificates and during tax season send out the 1099’s.  Tax season was the worst, I don’t know how many times I had to say we don’t do cost basis.  There are different things depending if it is a stock, or an ADR (American Depositary Receipt, a tradable US security of a foreign company, foreign companies are not listen on the stock exchange).

One of the worst things was that most people you were talking to just had someone that died.  Like my father is dead I want to transfer the shares to me.  Did it go to probate?  We need letters of testamentary or a waiver of probate, affidavits of domicile.  What’s the registration?  You need a Medallion Signature Guarantee.  It’s hard to convey how confusing certain situations got.  Like this, someone has power of attorney for the shareholder, but the power of attorney is deceased, who has authority to transfer the shares?  There was plenty of shit like that.

That was a cool gig kinda but certainly not fun work.  Then I got my highest paying job after that, making 60 G’s a year, though it was by far the most stressful and more of a pain in the ass job than all of them.  There is no way making porn comes anywhere close to the shit I had to do at this job.

I worked at a company that ran a platform for trading currency online.  The volume in a given day was 50 Billion (yes BILLION) and the average trade size was the equivalent 2 Million.  I worked in trade support, so that means we were half technical half customer service.  I worked the Asian and European shift, which was graveyard in NY.  Now, picture how mad someone gets when someone fucks up their cell phone bill and they scream at customer service.  Now picture the man whose 10million USD/EUR trade is in an unknown state.  Yeah, it fucking blowed.  Another thing is, for the most part everyone was a foreigner so it was hard to understand them.  Shit I hated the most was them screaming at you one day and then trying to buddy up with you the next.  In any event, we worked with every major bank in the world and I was on a first name basis with all their top level employees who ran their Foreign Exchange division.  They actually loved my ass, my emails were legendary.  No one there could come close to writing emails like me.

I had to learn a lot of shit about Foreign Exchange, but the hardest was all the crazy technical shit and going through the log files to determine if trades were really done or not.  Since we had access to every bank, client and Prime Broker account, if I wanted to I could execute trades on anyone’s account and they are done in real time.  Sometimes we had to offset trades that were done late or in error.  In total honesty, I could have brought down the entire Foreign Exchange world by executing 500 Million $ trades from everyone’s account.  There is no undo with that shit; all of those would have had to have been covered.

The grimiest part was this.  If you were a retail customer, you received your prices and liquidity from your retailer, as opposed to big time clients who had direct connections to bank prices and didn’t need leverage.  When we sent the banks prices to the retailers, my company and the retailers pipped (changed) the prices and gave different spreads to different people.  So while say Citibank or Bank of America or JP Morgan was sending say a .14/.10 USD/EUR spread, they would add points on the buy side and take away points on the sell side.  The retailer gets the official bank price, and the customer gets the bullshit price, and the retailer and my company split the difference.  Big-time scam shit no?

I had like no expenses because my Bronx rent was so cheap and I totally went overboard.  Out at the bar, Atlantic City, mad coke, hoes, all that.  Lots of fun, but honestly it was the most miserable time of my life because of how stressed I was and the fact I was working graveyard again.  They got bought out for mad money by a major bank and were gonna expand.  In fact they wanted to send me to Singapore to run their Asian team.  Pretty crazy for a kid who dropped out of high school and was living in the South Bronx huh?

Anyways, they pushed me to the limit and I send a dumbass email to the HR lady with the company that bought us.  The fired my ass, but I collected unemployment.  After that I went back to proxy and stock transfer work, and as of the moment I am collecting unemployment from my stock transfer job I had in NY before I left.    Gotta love the federal and state extensions on unemployment.  I also worked at the Brooklyn Army Terminal for a short while.   At both those jobs I was commuting on four trains from The Bronx to Brooklyn ever day. 

Ok, if you made it this far, you should not stop here.  Why did I go through all of this?  This is to show you my perspective of work from my life’s experience.  None of those were glamorous jobs (not that porn is either) and some were hard, difficult and both.

That’s the point.  It is debatable whether making porn is difficult work, difficult as in a job only a limited group of individuals have skills for.  What it is not is hard work.  A hard job is manual labor like construction.  It is not difficult though; it requires limited skill.  A difficult job that is not hard is a professional video game player.  Clearly you need a lot of skill, but the work is not arduous.  A hard AND difficult job is being a surgeon.  You need to have lots of specialized skills and be able to deal with intense, mind wearing stress and pressure.

In my opinion though, making porn is bullshit work, with all due.  Someone who dedicated their life to making porn really had no real talent in any of their passions, are deviod of passion for anything, or just striahgt up lack ambition.  You can’t be passionate about porn, I’m sorry.  Sex is a biological function, it’s designed to be fun.  It’s like if you paid me to sniff coke and take ecstasy all day.  There are exceptions however they are all the female side.  When I met the beautiful and talented Diamond Jackson I realized, some women really love this shit and it’s what they want to be doing.  Diamond is educated and from playing her trivia game everyday, she’s mad smart too.  Not as smart as me though 😉  She could be doing lots of things.

Let’s take a male porno actor.  This man is making $40,000 a year doing work that once you start, your options are limited afterwards.  With a GED I made 60 grand a year, and I fucked plenty of bitches too.  That is where I come to a huge myth: the male porno actor is an enviable position.

Not every guy wishes he could be a porn star, for example I am one of them.  I have no desire whatsoever to do porn at all.  It’s not how I get down.  I would like to fuck many bitches who make porn definitely, but I’m not about to pursue a career in porn to do it.  Fuck that.  I got way bigger fish to fry than that.

Another thing is, these porn bitches are not exclusive, they are INCLUSIVE, meaning they will fuck anyone who pays them.  There’s no shame in that game, but there is way better pussy than that.  I have nothing against anyone that makes porn male or female, if you are a good person you are a good person, like the lovely Diamond.  But these porn bitches have been ran through by a ton of guys, there is just better pussy than that, it’s not pussy to aspire for more than other pussy.

Take the girl I’m seeing now.  She is 19 and she is a dime, and when I say dime it’s with a capital fuckin D.  In fact just so you guys don’t think I’m bullshitting I am going to send Cindi and Kay some pics and you can ask them.  She is one of the hottest girls I have seen period in person or on TV.  You know what’s even better; no guy in porn will ever be able to fuck her because she doesn’t get down like that.  So even if I ever fuck a porn star, it’ll be great, but it’s an experience many, many others have had.  My girl is some shit that is limited.

As for the Viagra thing, I don’t know how Viagra works; I’ve never had to take it.  I’m fuckin 26 and my dick if anything has a problem being hard too much or when it is not appropriate.  I do know people who have used it and they said it is instant hard on.  In any event, I think if porn is something you want to do and you are Viagra’d up, why would it be hard to get hard, no pun intended.  Another thing is, they have pills to make you not bust soon, shit for premature ejaculation.  Given all of those facts, is it really that hard to keep your dick hard when you are on drugs, the girl is hot, and it is something you want to do to begin with?  Fuck outta here with that.

Lastly, you may think deep inside I really want to do porn.  Fact is if that were true, there are a number of people I can reach out to personally to help me with that.  Like me or not, from my time at LIB (my one year is coming very soon) people know me.  I’ve written A LOT of shit for this site, a lot of shit I can’t recall offhand.  Even if that weren’t true, hey I just saw an offer right here so what do you know, I guess I could if I wanted to.  However I would like to let it be known that, shit if you wanna fuck, just drop me a line LOL.  Though with the way things are going with my lady friend, I might have to rescind that offer.  I’m not a dog or a man ho, I’m a keeper.


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