You Can Or Can Not Call Me AL


The name AL is like white bread. Unassuming. Prosaic. Relatable. Comforting.

(Before I proceed I will explain that I write the name AL in caps because Al looks like the abbreviation of artificial intelligence every time I read it.)

I doubt there are any King AL’s anywhere. The name is simply too peasantlike. You can’t bow to that. It doesn’t command respect nor could it be taken seriously even contemplating it. It has an almost juvenile quality you have to roll your eyes at. “Sure AL you’ll be president one day, just don’t forget to pick up some milk on your way back from the mall.”

It is not concerned with triffling matters but is not interested in seriousness unless it is warranted. It is relentlessly and unabashedly without trepidation. No not confident or cocky which would hint at ego. Simply free from emotional and psychological hindrance.

The name likes to sleep in and take regular naps. AL is familiar with and enjoys vice but is not consumed with it. AL quit smoking but your second handhand smoke doesn’t bother or tempt him. AL got mustard on his shirt at lunch but since he’s not leaving home anyway he doesn’t bother changing it.

AL is that guy.

Because hardly anyone’s given name is AL and it is an abbreviation, most of the people with the moniker tend to have the attributes of the name because they have either decided to be called it or others christened them that.

Let’s take Albert Einstein. Do you think a random person that didn’t know him called him AL? Na, Einstein was of too much consequence to be an AL to the public. But I bet those closest to him called him AL. “Yo AL I’m really feeling the insight into the relationship of mass and energy you blessed us with.”

AL is noirish. He is the bartender at the dive bar that gets all the troublemakers but no one ever tests him. Not because he’s big or menacing.  Because he’s AL.

AL’s tend to be funny, cool, badass, authentic or a combo of all three.There’s a correlation with easy goingness associated with the name.

AL In Due Time

Nominative determinism is the idea that your name affects your life because you will gravitate to things similar to it.Like how the owner of Tito’s Vodka is named Tito Beveridge. Or there’s a urologist named Dr Dick Chopp.

So who knows if people named AL become such because they are such or they became that way.

Let’s take AL Bundy. Maybe if AL’s name was Robert he wouldn’t be selling shoes. Maybe he’d be a boss of some kind. But AL certainly did become the previously stated funny, cool, badass and authentic.

Pacino, Capone, Lewis, Davis, Green, Sharpton, Cowlings, Borland

They don’t have much in common. But all those AL’s are approachable. They aren’t distant. They are people people.People if you stopped them in the street respectfully you wouldn’t expect a problem from. They are just AL’s.

AL ALong The ALiteration

To top it off AL means “to the” or “at the” or “of the” or “in the style of” in Spanish. So if your name is say AL Swift in Spanish that could be interpreted as in the style of Swift (e.g. tacos AL pastor). Big time bonus for AL’s.

But wait there’s more.  In Arabic AL means “the” (e.g. AL-Qaeda or The Base). So if your name is AL Rios in Arabic it would mean THE Rios.

So then let’s take Pacino. Spanish and Arabic speakers basically know him as THE PACINO.  THE as in the one you should know. The Pacino not A Pacino.

Final Thought

I guess for matters of clarity I should note that many people call me AL.  But I think this a very fine and cogent exposition in any event.  This might be esoteric AL stuff right here I will admit. All my AL’s will get it.  If you don’t your name is Steve or Bill.

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