Kim Kardashian’s Ass Is Blacker Than Prince

In another exclusive to The Cartel, we have received a just released study that explains the plain old rudeness Prince displayed to Kim Kardashian at his concert at the Garden.

It turns out that, genetically at least, Kim’s ass contains more sub Saharan DNA than Prince.  The reasons are diverse, the study explains.

One, look at Prince.  We don’t even know what he is exactly.  He could quite possibly be the alien that abducted Travis Walton in Fire In The Sky.  Even the scientists couldn’t figure it out. 

Two is that for some strange reason, Kim’s ass retained many black properties descended about a hundred generations ago.  You see, if you go back far enough, everyone has a black relative; it’s just simple math.  If there were only 500 humans on Earth at one point and they were all in Africa, then you have a distant black relative.  

Three, but most critically the scientists noted, is that Kim’s ass has been the recipient of such a staggering amount of sub Saharan DNA by way of beef injection.  They are not sure, but they think that possibly at the time of the mega cum loads, she was also near a microwave.  It’s like the movie the Fly, kind of, but not really.

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