When Will Eminem Stop Being a Wigger?

What do you call an almost 40-year-old white man from nowhere Michigan who believes he is a 20 something year old black male from Detroit?  Eminem!

It’s a legitimate observation.  For one, Eminem is not from Detroit, he’s  from a suburb of Detroit.  I’m not trying to say he’s like a Kid Rock and actually from a well to do background in addition to fronting like he’s from Detroit, but there’s a difference between white trailer trash bumblefuck Michigan, and well Detroit.  It’s like how Michael Moore says he’s from Flint, but he’s from Davidson, a Flint suburb.  That’s like telling people you are from the Bronx when you are from Westchester.  They are adjacent to each other but it’s not the same thing.  The Upper East Side is adjacent to Spanish Harlem, but 86 and Lex isn’t 110 and Lex.  What people will purport just to get a rep…

You would think Eminem was a real life version of Steve Martin’s character from The Jerk.  Like, surely he must have been raised by black people to speak with black vernacular, accent and diction?  But no, he’s just your regular Michigan cracker. 

I don’t want to put him down per se because he is talented, though I haven’t been able to listen to his music with any consistency for years.  It’s just he gets a pass for all his fronting because of that, and it’s kind of absurd.  

Look at former wigger Marky Mark AKA Mark Wahlberg.  He fronted when he was young, but then he grew up.  Doesn’t speak like he used to when he was with the Funny Bunch.  Same with Vanilla Ice.  But no, Eminem had to gain unprecedented acceptance in a black arena which somehow convinced him he actually is black.  Then again you didn’t see Larry Bird do the same shit. 

While I’m clowning Eminem a little, can someone tell me why he’s always sulking?  Him and Jay Cutler perpetually look like babies who didn’t get their nap.  Can we burp Eminem and Jay Cutler please?  Maybe get them a pacifier.

 What makes white people want to be not white to begin with?  Being white has a lot more advantages than being not white.  He’s not even ethnic, he’s Mayflower shit, Anglo-Saxon shit.  Revoke this man’s pass.

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