Told You The Black Eyed Peas Suck

It seems like the most pervasive observation on this years Super Bowl was not the game itself, it was everyone wondering aloud what The Cartel’s readers were so thoroughly informed of already: the Black Eyed Peas fuckin BLOW!

I know after a tittie, a black tittie at that, got flashed by that good for nothing Timberfake the NFL has to now go with the most banal, spiceless halftime shows, but damn, this halftime show sucked.

For entertainment purposes I watched, with utter disgust, this group try to be interesting.  They just can’t.  They are impotent to cross the interesting threshold even in the least discernible way.  By the time that animated corpse Slash showed up I was ready to barf.  I had to stop.

That’s being a little tough on Slash because he was the most endearing thing about an overratted 80’s band fronted by a huge tool, but still, at this point Slash has to stay with his snakes in the basement.

I mean what the fuck were they wearing?  I wouldn’t even use those clothes as jizz rags.

Funny thing I was Facetiming with my mother when it was on and she said, “Oh it’s the Black Eyed Peas… you don’t like them do you.”

Hell no, Mom knows because she’s a member of the Cartel.

She says, “Alex, what are the other two guys’ names besides Fergie and Will.I.Am?”

“Role players # 1 & 2 aka Fergie and Will.I.Am’s tax write offs aka their laundry folders when the cameras are off.” I say.  She couldn’t have set me up better.  It’s almost like I lived in her body for 9 months a long time ago.

I’m completely struck by the anti BEP sentiment though because someone is buying these albums or downloading their music.  All of a sudden your favorite band stinks it up and you treat them with the same respect Isiah Thomas treats black women?

1,2,3 all together, Black Eyed Peas STIINNNKKKKKKKKKK!

2 Responses to “Told You The Black Eyed Peas Suck”

  1. What’s the name of the Hispanic on the Black Eyed Peas?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: