Archive for January, 2011

Stop Aid To Israel

Posted in Current Events, General, Politics, Race, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2011 by Lupa

Recently that fat ass Governor of NJ Chris Christie – whom I only call a fat ass out of journalistic integrity – stated that police officers in Camden, NJ who work the graveyard shift should not receive a shift differential.  He scoffed at the idea.  It seems he has trouble understanding the realities of Camden, the jobs police officers do, the schedule in which most crime occurs and how working the graveyard shift can affect a person and their relationships.  Shit, McDonalds will hit you off with at least a quarter more for flipping burgers at that time.  You would think that fat fuck Chris Christie would know that.  He’s gotta be in there 1st, 2nd and 3rd shifts on the REG!  That Trenton Mickey D’s calls it the Big Chris.  When he tells his intern to “CC Mickey D” on that email he means, “get my fuckin Big Mac NOW RAHHHHHHHH!  and a DIET Coke, I’m watching my weight RAHHHHHH!”

What Chris, and all these other ultra fiscal conservatives never suggest to save some dollars is simply cutting off all aid to Israel, or at least making it relative to the average country the U.S. aids.

In 2010 U.S. aid to Israel was 2.777 BILLION dollars.  In 2011 it will be 3 billion.  You know what just look at the chart below.

Do you know what over 100,000 million is?  Over 1 TRILLION dollars.  (*** Update  Whoops, actually I’m pretty sure it’s only 100 Billion) All this for the crown jewel democracy of the middle east which always falls back on it’s “right to exist” mantra.  If it has this unique right to exist, then why does it need Daddy Warbucks’ help?  I’m sure Mexico thought it had a “right to exist” when the U.S. invaded it, took a huge chunk of its land and now demonizes those very same people while simultaneously benefitting from them.  Make no mistake, we should be claiming Israel on our taxes.  We OWN that shit.  We are Israel’s sugar daddy, except we haven’t got laid once!  What kind of deal is that?  Why are we underwriting the existence of this country?  What do we get out of this?  Once it was a presence in the middle east, but now we’re in Iraq and Afghanistan so once again, what are we doing?  It’s like drunk sex when you realize you aren’t wearing a condom but continuing because you already started.

I think a lot of people don’t realize Israel routinely bulldozes entire Palestinian neighborhoods whenever they feel like taking up more space.  People here go crazy when eminent domain is exercised, but our pals are using our money to ethnically cleanse Israel of Palestinians by making living conditions so deplorable they either die or go somewhere else. 

The human rights violations which occur in the occupied, as in militarily occupied, with little to no freedoms like personal movement, terroritories are very real and very casually inflicted.

Here’s an excerpt from an Amnesty International report of a July 2009 incident in Israel.

Israeli forces killed hundreds of unarmed Palestinian civilians and destroyed thousands of homes in Gaza in attacks which breached the laws of war, Amnesty International concluded in a new report published on Thursday. Operation ‘Cast Lead’: 22 days of death and destruction, is the first comprehensive report to be published on the conflict, which took place earlier this year.

Isn’t killing hundreds of unarmed civilians and destroying thousands of homes in one fell swoop more commonly referred to as terrorism?  Oh I see, only dark-skinned people participate in terrorism, not the so-called rightful owners of a land who for some reason do not bear much indigenous resemblance to these guys who they are forced to share it with.  Oh I get it, those unarmed civilians and their homes were terrorists and terrorist facilities.  If only Israel could throw those dirty Palestinians into ovens!

It’s called collective punishment.   A small percentage of Muslim Arabs who engage in terrorism justify the indiscriminate and wanton murder of anyone in that gene pool and/or belief system.

I’m not going to sit here and sing the praises of the Arab world because it probably is the most backward on Earth; they gotta get their shit together.  The thing is, we as American taxpayers DON’T FUCKIN PAY FOR THAT.  We do pay for Israeli terror, which is their battle, in their backyard, for something which doesn’t benefit us.

I want you to find any existence of Islamic terrorism prior to the formation of Israel.  You won’t find it because the fact is terrorism is not an action, it’s a reaction.  It is a result of impotent rage, a pathetic response to hopelessness. 

Don’t take it from me though.  The U.N. Commision on Human Rights gushes:

 “…widespread, systematic and gross violations of human rights perpetrated by the Israeli occupying Power, in particular mass killings and collective punishments, such as demolition of houses and closure of the Palestinian territories, measures which constitute war crimes, flagrant violations of international humanitarian law and crimes against humanity.”

Hmmmmm, sounds like the kind of shit that might make someone who has nothing to live for strap a bomb to themselves and kill a bunch of people.

If we believe Islamic theocracies are wrong, then we need to ante up and stop supporting a Jewish theocracy.  Religion and government have no business mixing.

The crazy thing is, anti-Semitism in the U.S. is very real.  Go to Ozone Park or Bay Ridge and see how those guidos feel about Jews.  We hate them here but help them there, go figure.

To really fuck you up, most of my family on my father’s side lives in Tel-Aviv.  I spent the summer there when I was 10.  I got no beef with them, they are just trying to live their lives.  They don’t create government policy.

So to come full circle, I will pose to you this quandary:  why are we laying off police officers in one America’s most violent and troubled cities when we send billions of dollars to the other side of the Earth for an ambiguous reason?  Surely we can skim something off that Israel budget to make sure every single one of those men and women have a job protecting the citizens of Camden.  Are we prioritizing Israel over America?  What kind of shit is that?

The Mysteries of Hip Hop

Posted in General, Music, NY/NJ, Race, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2011 by Lupa

I love hip hop, it’s not my favorite music, but that’s only because music for me is like food, sometimes you want BBQ, other times Mexican, sometimes Italian.

One of the reasons I love hip hop is because of the competitive aspect of it.  There simply is no other music which encapsulates such aggression against its other creators.  Blues musicians want to one up one another and play their solos lick by lick in impromptu battles, but there wasn’t any beef because of it.  B.B. King never said to Buddy Guy “fuck you then nigga I’ll see you outside BEOTCH!”  Another reason is how a DJ’s dexterity can create new works of art on the fly or how anyone can record their own verse on any beat, going anywhere they want with it.  I could really go on and on.

With that said, I am writing to ponder to two of the biggest hip hop mysteries of all time.

The first is, how come in 25 years of rapping, the Beastie Boys never got any better at it?  I’m not trying to diss them because I think they are hot.  Name me any other hip hop group where all the members rap AND play instruments.  No, no they are definitely hot.  The thing is, lyrically, they kind of suck.

They didn’t always suck, but the standards came up.  What was hot from say 85-92 isn’t hot anymore, but they still rap like that.  Can I get a polysyllabic rhyme Mike D?  How about the king Ad Rock?  MCA?  Yes from the Hudson River to the Nile, I heard it all three times.  One song, any song, off of Illmatic bodies the collective rhyme contributions of all the Beastie Boys.

I wish I could say that it was just a lyrical thing, but their flow needs to be updated too.  It’s like they’ve been in a coma for all their records and only get out of it to record.

The next mystery of hip hop is how come there has never been ONE hot British rapper EVER?  I don’t want to hear your obscure esoteric pics, I’m talking an official British rapper that people would bump in NY on a mass scale.  There just isn’t one and it’s very peculiar.

In the 60’s the British proved the overall adeptness, even mastery, at “borrowing” black American music.  Fuck that, the Beatles, The Stones, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton, the Kinks… all BITERS.  What gave them the NERVE to so brazenly rip our shit off like that?

See the difference between that and this is 1. racism and 2. hip hop is hip hop.  1.is self explanatory; they wanted black music, they just didn’t want black PEOPLE.  And point 2, well when you listen to a guy sing or play guitar you may think, well that could be an American black person doing that.  Not with rap.  That British accent sounds stiff.  It’s just no good.  In fact, possibly the only hot British jam of anykind might be Mark Morrison’s “Return of The Mack”  I don’t even want to hear a snippet of “well Slick Rick was born in England…”  He’s from the BRONX!

More mysteries of Hip Hop revealed on the next edition of… The Lupa Cartel!

Music To Pay For

Posted in Uncategorized on January 20, 2011 by Lupa

I received a $25.oo Itunes gift card for the holidays.  This is what I bought.  Did I already buy half these songs years ago on CD’s?  Yes.  Could I just listen to the other half for free pretty much whenever? Yes.  But if you never buy any music you are surely not an exemplary person.

1.  Where Is My Mind – The Pixies

2.  There You Go – Johnny Cash

3.  The Gambler – Kenny Rogers

4.  Black Rain – Soundgarden

5.  Ghetto Jam – Dwight Swills & Rick Braun

6.  Aneursym – Nirvana

7.  Morena De Mi Corazon – Raul Sandoval

8.  Treat Her Like A Lady – Natural Black

9.  Black Republican – Jay-Z & Nas

10.  Renegade – Jay-Z & Eminem

11.  Santa Monica – Everclear

12.  Sex & Candy – Marcy Playground

13.   The Eyes Have It – Pezz

14.  Glad Tidings – Van Morrison

15.  All That I Got Is You – Ghostface

16.  Get On Your Knees – Necro

17.  People Who Died – Jim Carroll Band

18.  Retaliation – Jedi Mind Tricks

19.  I’ve Got Dreams To Remember – Otis Redding

20.  Same In The End – Sublime

21.  Dreamlover – Bobby Darin

22.  Dear Mama – 2Pac

Exclusive: Jake Dumping Taylor Audio

Posted in General, Hollywood with tags , , on January 20, 2011 by Lupa

Normally posting anything about these two I would consider beneath me, but The Cartel is making enough noise that it received exclusive – and independently confirmed – audio of the infamous break up Jake Gylenhaal gave to Taylor Swift over the phone.  For legal reasons I can’t post the audio, but I did transcribe it.  Warning, this is graphic stuff.

(Ring, Ring)

Taylor: Hello?

Jake: YO!  Sup?

Taylor:  Who’s this?

Jake:  Jake BITCH!

Taylor:  Ha ha, very funny Jake!  How come your number shows up as blocked?

Jake:  Cause this is my real phone.  You have the Birdberry number.

Taylor:  Huh?

Jake:  The Birdberry.  I give it to hoes.

Taylor:  I don’t understand.

Jake:  You’re a jumpoff.  A scrap.  A hizzy.  And that’s why I got to toot it and boot it.

Taylor:  W-w-what?  Are you serious?

Jake:  Am I laughing bitch?  Did I say knock, knock?  Fuck is wrong with you?

Taylor:  Whoever this is, I will find out and pursue legal action, ASSHOLE!

Jake:  Why don’t I prove this is me.  Remember New Years around 9 PM.  I hit that so hard it knocked your whole shit out the frame?  Then I left, and put the used up Magnum above your lips like a jimmy hat mustache?

Taylor:  Oh my GOOOOOOOOD!

Jake:  Yeah, I said I had to study lines for a big part, but there were really 5 sluts waiting for me.

Taylor:  I feel sick.  But you said you liked me and you wanted to be with me.  You wrote me love letters?!?!?!

Jake:  Ha ha ha, my game is deep ain’t it?

Taylor:  I’m going to throw up.

Jake:  Don’t be stupid.  What kind of guy asks you to bang his fat, old, hairy, ugly uncle who also happens to be a virgin to prove loyalty?

Taylor:  Wait, your Uncle Ron isn’t a virgin???

Jake:  Ha, you stupid bitch, that’s not my uncle, that’s Ron Jeremy.  He’s been in more hoes than tampons.  I made it happen for him and in return he steers 5 new porn whores a week off the bus from the midwest to me before they are broken in. 

Taylor:  FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, EAT SHIT AND DIE!

Jake:  No you won’t, no one would believe a retard like you.  In fact, my game is so deep I bet you I could hit again.

Taylor:  Na UH!

Jake:  What if I said all this was part of a role I’m preparing for.  It’s method acting.  I’m playing a scumbag that really did this.  Come on, Taylor, this was all a joke.  Does it sound believable?  I’m practicing.  This is what actors do.

Taylor:  I’m confused.

Jake:  Didn’t you notice I was talking like a black person.  You know I hate black people.  My character is black.  Do you know what Occam’s Razor is?

Taylor: No,  is that your name in the new movie?  Your name is Occam?

Jake:  Exactly.  That’s why I love you bitch.  So I’ll see you later.

Taylor:  I don’t know. 

Jake:  Aight then fuck you then we’re through.  Click.

Taylor:  NO NO, don’t hang up are you still there.

Jake:  (audbile laughing, blunt smoking, background)  ha ha I told you son, hahahaha…..

Like I said, that was definitely graphic.  My whole perception of Jake has changed… for the better.

It’s Katy Perry’s Fault

Posted in Current Events, Politics, Society with tags , , , , on January 12, 2011 by Lupa

I don’t want to make light of a tragedy, however The Lupa Cartel has received reliable information from a dependable source that Katy Perry is to blame for the shooting of Rep Giffords and others in Arizona.

What hasn’t been published is that the shooter John Loughner heard the song “California Gurls” before going on his rampage.

See now it all becomes clear.

It is impossible to listen to that song without becoming infuriated, extremely irritated and pushed over the edge.  It’s just a bad song.  Katy Perry used to be a Christian singer and now she’s telling me about gin and juice and represnting the west side. 

She said she was motivated to do the song after hearing Empire State of Mind.  She said 2Pac wouldn’t have been down with that song, gee golly don’t you know.  She had to “answer” that.  And in that cocaine deteoriated mind of hers she believes California Gurls, and that’s “gurls” not girls because she’s extra witty, is that answer, that song that makes us here go, “oh damn I really wish I lived in Cali.”

I like California, but the only thing it has on the east coast is In and Out Burgers, sunshine and palm trees.  That’s it.  We do everything bigger and better here.  We work twice as hard and play ten times harder.

What’s so great about California girls anyway?  Granted they aren’t pieces of trash like J-Wow… they’re bigger pieces of trash.  Native California girls and the transplants make up about 95% of the girls you see in pornos.  California girls really are undeniable… undeniably more likely to exploit themselves by becoming human seed canvases, becoming sick jizz Jackson Pollack paintings. 

Katy Perry is basically the female Russell Brand, oh snap, they really are made for each other.  Seriously though I heard Russell gave Katy an extra pernicious strain of British herpes from all those whores he used to bang in England.  Those herpes have bad teeth and have never had a good meal in their life.  That’s why they’re so angry.

The Lupa Show Episode 4: Nailin Pailin

Posted in The Lupa Show with tags , , , , on January 10, 2011 by Lupa

Lupa Show Episode 4 is here kiddies, we’re talking about the Beatles and liberalism, Kid Rock’s dumbass, my first paid spot from Goya, the shooting in AZ, Sara Palin, Tyrone tells us who can say nigga, Rebecca had sex with Ronald, all the news of the day and much more!

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