Bronx Strippers

The Bronx is a place whose reputation precedes it; something like Beverly Hills except the complete opposite.  Much has changed since the notorious days of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, however as much as things change, they remain the same.

The Bronx is still easily the grittiest most decayed area in New York.  All of New York has changed as whole, but some places in the Bronx still have a traditional NY feel to them.  This is in the small details, and the larger ones.  For example, in the city people used to open fire hydrants in the summer and you don’t see that shit anymore south of Harlem.  Where I lived in the Bronx off of St Ann’s Ave (you either know about that or you don’t) on hot summer days every hydrant as far as you can see every way down the block would be open.  It would take days for the fire department to come and shut it off and that shit would just spray in the street.

That’s a small detail.  A larger one for example would be that these dudes were busted selling grenades in the projects down the block.  Grenades.  Fact is if you aren’t careful, your ass can get fucked up real quick in the Bronx.  Parts of the Bronx still have that feeling that day or night, you really don’t know what’s liable to happen at any given time.

There’s a poolhall on Jerome Ave. that’s actually a pretty nice place even if it were in the city, though it’s in the hood.  Sometimes I would go with some people there, and it was usually on Thursday because that was the night they would have strippers.   I’d go to work and tell people I know about that they’d be like, “Strippers at a pool hall.  That’s some grimey Bronx shit”, which is true.

There would only be one stripper though, and the stripper was always pretty hot, but at the same time pretty ghetto.  A Puerto Rican chick with a fat beautiful ass, body and titties but with tattoos that basically give you the impression she’ll cut your ass if she has to.

The place was real big, so when the stripper came on there would be a big ass crowd around the floor where she was at.  Dudes tossin money, yelling, getting crazy.  She’d always pick dudes out of the audience and dance for them in a chair, or they’d lay straight on the floor and she’d go to work.  One time the chick mad the guy lay on his stomach on the floor and was dancing for him.  Then she pulled down his pants and spit down his ass crack.  I was disgusted, in fact picture 50 guys going “ohhhhhhhhhh” like Tony Soprano and his boys do.

There’s a strip club in the Bronx called Sin City, which is the best strip club I have ever been to in my life.  This is an upscale place, but it’s also in the middle of the hood.  The reason it is the best is because of the ladies.  You go to most clubs and the girls are blond, skinny, fake titties the whole nine.  Sin City is like the United Nations of Strip clubs, you would see hot ass black, Latin, Asian, Caribbean girls.

One time when it was my friend’s birthday he got me a lap dance, but I was entirely too drunk to even be in public let alone have a woman bouncing on me.  30 seconds into that shit I felt like if I didn’t get out of there, I was gonna throw up all over the bitch.  10 seconds later I guess she saw that shit all over my face because she’s like are you ok?  I was just like I need to leave and thankfully made it to the bathroom, though I didn’t yak, before I let semi digested Hennessy fly all over her.

You got your real ghetto Bronx strip clubs too, though I never fucked with those.  Ones where any bitch will fuck, ones where there are prosties outside the club like why go in when you can just fuck right now.  Shit sometimes our crib was basically one of those places.

The Bronx is a crazy place.

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