EVEN MORE My Space Offenders


” This is DaVe from “DeD SnOt”, the biggest punk band on Earth…. and my space too!!!! by “big” we mean, we can’t play instruments, have IQ’s of 45 and live at home with our parents, who happen to be affluent enough to actually enjoy George W. Bush’s tax cuts… If you thought that by “big” we meant having a record deal and playing shows, you don’t know anything about punk!!! Punk is about being a complete failure in life, dying my hair green and fucking high school girls that think I’m awesome… Showering is optional; actually we prefer not to… I can grow exactly seven hairs on my goatee, and I dye them too…. I’m the singer… Staying in key never occured to me, in fact the only key I’m familiar with is my house key… It’s weird that my voice never deepened when I entered puberty…. bands like Blink 182 and Sum 41, that’s not REAL punk rock… They work for record labels, and that’s just part of corporate america… We hate captalism!!! They must have it soooo good in Cuba and China, they don’t have to deal with these fucking corporations taking over everything… I’d really love for the process of trade to be completely dictated by the same entity which happens to possess things like nuclear weapons and the ability to manufacture currency…. We wouldn’t have to worry about anything!!!! Look I gotta go, my Mom is calling me to dinner… I’d give you a link to DeD sNoT’s website, but Al Gore invented the internet, and we can’t support a corporate whore like Al Gore… hey that rhymes!!! I’ll put that in a song!!! Once I figure out that a chord you play is not the same as a cord that goes in the wall… LaTeR!!! ” i hate those douchebags…. bad things come in twos!!! ” Yo this is Poser Wigger… AIGHT!! Straight from the east coast NIGGA… INDIANA in the house!!! Represent…. for some reason when I tell people I’m from the east coast, they think I’m talking about New York, Jersey, Boston, D.C., Philly, you know places one would actually associate with the east coast… and places that actually have a coast… But whatever yo…I know where I’m from, the STREETS nigga, know what I’m sayin…. Peep this chain son… Look at all the ice and shit… It was a Christmas present from my Moms… That wasn’t the only thing I got for Christmas either….but fuck her, bitches ain’t shit but hos and tricks ha ha ha…. Everytime I fuck, I do it without a condom and bust inside the bitch… Why do you need a rubber when your girl is made out of latex already??? I clean the crust out of her from time to time, it be nasty sometimes yo…. Eminem is GOD, he inspired me to get in the rap game and shit… I want to be in a movie like “8 Mile”, except it’s called “County Line Road” yo peep this freestyle son, oh hold up, let me spark this blunt first…. “yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Yo I’m the King, when I do my thing, yeah yeah, umm yo, I eat at Burger King, uhhh sometimes uhhh, in the Spring”…. Yo, wasn’t that HOT, I can rock the mic for hours KID, what you know about that… Yo check these tables out son, I spin betta than anyone… naw, they ain’t Technics… they’re Fisher Price, belt drives… the REAL SHIT…. Check this vinyl out, my mom’s go it for me for Christmas with my chain and shit… “Danny Bonaduce’s Greatest Hits” “Christmas With Kenny G” and my favorite, peep this, ” Donny Osmond & Fred Durst Duets” Yo, Fred and Donny are my BOYS… Yo peep Fred’s vocals on “Puppy Love” …. that’s my boy from the east coast, just like me…. even though he’s from Jacksonville…and if you ain’t down with that shit, you’re a straight bitch…yo get back at me, or I’ll fuck you up, FOR REAL BIATCH….” What a fuckin retard! If you know these two retards, you know what I’m talkin about…

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