Archive for May, 2004

EVEN MORE My Space Offenders

Posted in Print on May 26, 2004 by Lupa

 

” This is DaVe from “DeD SnOt”, the biggest punk band on Earth…. and my space too!!!! by “big” we mean, we can’t play instruments, have IQ’s of 45 and live at home with our parents, who happen to be affluent enough to actually enjoy George W. Bush’s tax cuts… If you thought that by “big” we meant having a record deal and playing shows, you don’t know anything about punk!!! Punk is about being a complete failure in life, dying my hair green and fucking high school girls that think I’m awesome… Showering is optional; actually we prefer not to… I can grow exactly seven hairs on my goatee, and I dye them too…. I’m the singer… Staying in key never occured to me, in fact the only key I’m familiar with is my house key… It’s weird that my voice never deepened when I entered puberty…. bands like Blink 182 and Sum 41, that’s not REAL punk rock… They work for record labels, and that’s just part of corporate america… We hate captalism!!! They must have it soooo good in Cuba and China, they don’t have to deal with these fucking corporations taking over everything… I’d really love for the process of trade to be completely dictated by the same entity which happens to possess things like nuclear weapons and the ability to manufacture currency…. We wouldn’t have to worry about anything!!!! Look I gotta go, my Mom is calling me to dinner… I’d give you a link to DeD sNoT’s website, but Al Gore invented the internet, and we can’t support a corporate whore like Al Gore… hey that rhymes!!! I’ll put that in a song!!! Once I figure out that a chord you play is not the same as a cord that goes in the wall… LaTeR!!! ” i hate those douchebags…. bad things come in twos!!! ” Yo this is Poser Wigger… AIGHT!! Straight from the east coast NIGGA… INDIANA in the house!!! Represent…. for some reason when I tell people I’m from the east coast, they think I’m talking about New York, Jersey, Boston, D.C., Philly, you know places one would actually associate with the east coast… and places that actually have a coast… But whatever yo…I know where I’m from, the STREETS nigga, know what I’m sayin…. Peep this chain son… Look at all the ice and shit… It was a Christmas present from my Moms… That wasn’t the only thing I got for Christmas either….but fuck her, bitches ain’t shit but hos and tricks ha ha ha…. Everytime I fuck, I do it without a condom and bust inside the bitch… Why do you need a rubber when your girl is made out of latex already??? I clean the crust out of her from time to time, it be nasty sometimes yo…. Eminem is GOD, he inspired me to get in the rap game and shit… I want to be in a movie like “8 Mile”, except it’s called “County Line Road” yo peep this freestyle son, oh hold up, let me spark this blunt first…. “yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Yo I’m the King, when I do my thing, yeah yeah, umm yo, I eat at Burger King, uhhh sometimes uhhh, in the Spring”…. Yo, wasn’t that HOT, I can rock the mic for hours KID, what you know about that… Yo check these tables out son, I spin betta than anyone… naw, they ain’t Technics… they’re Fisher Price, belt drives… the REAL SHIT…. Check this vinyl out, my mom’s go it for me for Christmas with my chain and shit… “Danny Bonaduce’s Greatest Hits” “Christmas With Kenny G” and my favorite, peep this, ” Donny Osmond & Fred Durst Duets” Yo, Fred and Donny are my BOYS… Yo peep Fred’s vocals on “Puppy Love” …. that’s my boy from the east coast, just like me…. even though he’s from Jacksonville…and if you ain’t down with that shit, you’re a straight bitch…yo get back at me, or I’ll fuck you up, FOR REAL BIATCH….” What a fuckin retard! If you know these two retards, you know what I’m talkin about…

MORE My Space Offenders

Posted in Print on May 24, 2004 by Lupa

 

” TooMany Tats here, from Los Angeles…. the best fuckin place on earth, rock on! I believe my body is a canvas, and therefore I’m gonna get every inch of it tatted up… hell yeh! every inch… Then i’m gonna get naked, take pics and post them on my My Space page! This has nothing to do with the fact I have no artisitic abilities myself, and lack the proper gifts to illustrate art myself in any meaningful way… I tried drawing once… It didn’t work out… I tried playing guitar, but all I could play was Nirvana songs, badly… besides, i’m a bad ass tough motherfucker, and the tats are my way of being sensitive… I cried when I got them… from the pain AND the beauty… I only admitted that to the ladies that are reading this, and only the ones that have the requisite tat on their lower back for guys to look at when they rock them from behind… SWEET…I’m gonna pawn my Harley to get more ink done… it’s cool, I never knew how to ride it anyway… Right On!” ” Swinger O’Slut, from the OC… I’m pretty blunt, if you got a problem with that, fuck off… I LOVE cock, not just love, ADORE… Black cock, white cock, eskimo cock, I don’t care as long as it’s no less than 12 inches… Didn’t you guys no anything less than 12 inches is small??? I’m not a whore, i’m just liberated… I like taking on as many guys at once as I can… It took me like a day to do the math when I first started, but realized I could have a cock in each hand, my mouth, my ass and my pussy… God, it feels so good! I love my oversized tits… They feel like kickballs, and I got a siatica from sleeping with them… but they are well worth it… Come on, doesn’t everyone love 36 GGG’s? they also double as punching bags, which is good because my boyfriend Shirt Less JuiceBag has a roid rage problem… So Men, Women, Trannies, Dogs ( As Long As They are hung and got a tongue!) Leave me a message! Where do these people come from??

My Space Offenders

Posted in Archives on May 23, 2004 by Lupa

 

. Hi! I’m Ditsy McBlonde, my website is http://www.DitsyMcBlonde.com… Hear (sic) are my modeling pics! I’m really looking for down to earth people… my interests include money and cars… Why don’t you come and join the other 6,982 guys on my friend’s list and be a pathetic loser like they are…. My tits were a present from my ex boyfriend… What a chump! hee hee 🙂 I gave him ass once and he gave me a platinum credit line… Like duh, how was I not supposed to go for him… 2. Hey I’m Shirt Less JuiceBag… I’m real cut and obviously work out a lot… But I make sure and crop my face out of all my pics… See all these girls on my friend’s list, yeah all 11,938 of them… I banged all of them, every last one of them… Even the ones that are just guys who stole the pics from somewhere else… Yep, I’m real slick, I’ll tell ya… Here’s a pic of me with me and some girl that I don’t know that was too drunk to realize her picture was being taken with me… Maybe the roffies I pooped in her drink had somethin to do with it…I’m the man!

The Movie “Parenthood”

Posted in Archives, Print on May 15, 2004 by Lupa
I couldn’t sleep last night so I was flippin through the TV, and low and behold one of my favorite movies from the 80’s was on, “Parenthood” I remember really connecting with that movie as a kid, because it came out like a year after my parents divorced, and it showed me that no one’s family life is perfect. When I see it now, it still holds up. It is equal parts hillarious, heartwarming and melancholy. Any movie that can achieve that is okay in my book… even though i don’t have a book about movies…

Water Music Recorders…

Posted in Archives, Print on May 13, 2004 by Lupa

 

For all you Indie rock bands out there, DO NOT record at Water Music in Hoboken, NJ. I interned there for like two months and the owner Rob Grenoble is a dickless peice of shit. This was a couple years ago, but I’m sure he still is a dickless piece of shit. However on the recording end, they have a vintage Neve board that sounds incredible and the recording area is huge, and has great accoustics. Yeah, they’ve recorded a lot of the Indie heavyweights over the years, but resist if you can. Or, if you do record there, and I wouldn’t blame you, make sure you give Rob a really hard time because he literally treated me like a slave, and not in the “payng dues way.”

Mother’s Day

Posted in Archives, Print on May 9, 2004 by Lupa

 

I love my Mother, even though she is a bit of a nutcase. I am fortunate to have a good relationship with my Mother, and that she is alive and in good health. She raised us by herself, and I suppose I took for granted growing up how hard it must have been to try and raise two boys filled with testosterone. However, even if my relationship with her was terrible, I’d still pay tribute to her on Mother’s Day, solely for the fact she rented her womb to me for nine months free of charge…

“Green Card No Shield Under Law”

Posted in Archives, Print on May 8, 2004 by Lupa

 

I copied portions of this from an article in “The Rocky Mountain News” This affects me, LEGAL permanent residents, who are not citizens of the US. BAsically everyone with a green card… This is the climate in which we live in: The U.S. government is systematically trying to deport all legal permanent residents who’ve been convicted of a crime, officials say. For immigrants with even minor or decades-old convictions, the policy means applying for citizenship can trigger a nightmare: arrest at the immigration office, immediate incarceration and a deportation hearing. The deportation laws cover most crimes, from murder to a $50 theft or vandalism, said Corina Almeida, chief counsel for the Denver office of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Only very minor crimes, such as some harassment cases, drunken driving and the most minor assaults, are not deportable crimes, she said. Every drug conviction is included, except for possession of 30 grams of marijuana – about a 1-ounce baggie. The laws are not new, but they gradually have become more stringent, with appellate decisions limiting judges’ ability to make exceptions, said private immigration attorney Lance Wiessenberger. The system “is becoming extraordinarily uncaring,” he said. “The hallmark of American immigration is supposed to be family unity. But now, it doesn’t matter if you’re going to separate a mother from her two minor children,” the law insists upon it for a mother who’s been convicted, he said. Legal immigrants with convictions now have a choice: Let their legal status expire or apply for renewal, risking detention and deportation. Congress passed the strictest parts of these rules in 1996, in response to the first World Trade Center bombing and the perception that the United States was soft on immigration. After the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, the new Department of Homeland Security took over immigration and put a greater emphasis on finding and deporting aliens with criminal records. The number of “criminal alien” deportations of both legal and illegal visitors has increased 13 percent in the past two years, to about 6,500 a month nationally. Fighting such criminal alien convictions is difficult, Wiessenberger said. Judges often are barred from showing mercy even for parents of minor children and those with decades of clean records. There are exceptions, but they are complicated. For example, the parent of a seriously ill U.S. citizen child may win a reprieve from a judge, but only for certain crimes. In many of these cases, no bail is allowed. As a result, immigrants sit in jail for months or potentially years while trying to fight their cases. Aside from the obvious suggestion of not committing crimes, criminal defense attorney Lisa Wayne recommends legal aliens plead guilty only to crimes that are not deportable offenses. “We try to come up with creative sentences to try to protect them,” she said. Boyle recommends trying for diversion programs, where the judge defers a decision for a year, then drops the charge if the defendant has stayed out of trouble. U.S. Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., has denounced parts of the criminal alien law for violating “family integrity, individual liberty, fairness and due process.” “Families are being torn apart,” Kennedy said in introducing reform legislation. “Persons who are no danger to the community have languished in INS detention. Individuals who made small mistakes and atoned for their crimes long ago are being summarily deported from the United States to countries they no longer remember.” Kennedy joined fellow Democratic Sen. John Kerry and five other senators to sponsor changes in 2000. The bill would have restored judges’ authority to grant mercy and bail. The bill died after 9-11, though, and hasn’t been revived. By the numbers: 77,276 criminal aliens were deported last year. That number includes: • 807 murderers • 2,219 rapists • 30,607 drug offenders
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